Friday, July 16, 2010

Maxim get's arrested

Today was one of those days when I got to really test my theory of holding a few simple truths close to your heart and living by it. I live with as little structure as possible, it means no possession, no plans, no ambitions, no expectation, only the few universal hints we’ve all been blessed with. I know that my path is spiritual leadership, to show people until cast away everything and follow our pure hearts, we will only dream about our true human potential.

So, woke up at allies, still in nanaimo, prayed with ganja and yoga while ridding a long board while playing the banjo. Wrote a new song, recorded it a up it up on youtube, it’s called “Masturbate Daily and Nightly”, the lyrics are:

There was a nice man named Maxim
He had a very nice banjo
When the bi-law officer took it away
He said no no no no no

“Officer if it’s a bylaw”
It should go both ways
What do I get to take from you?
To make equal law these days?

The bi-officer, he said with glee
You can suck my pride
While you’re down there drink my pee
Common and open wide

Now maxim loved golden showers
He loved playing jack in the box
He loved getting filthy dirty in general
But the cop had penis pox

This trade it sound real tempting
Maxim told the scabby red beast
But please just give to me my banjo
Plus I’ve contracted an infectious yeast

The beast he started puffing
Shooting red daggers out his thigh
He said by god, the church and state.
You not allowed having fun to get to by

So maxim started throat singing
To heal that wild control freak
He let it all go with a passionate blow
Then the beast heard children speak

They said, it’s our talents that matter,
We will never behave
Don’t you every try to keep me in a desk
I’d rather be in my grave

That cop he started crying
His tears were salty sweet
Then he relented that there banjo
Said, I’ve gotta start beating my meat

Cause men who ejaculate 5 times a week
Are 60% less likely
To develop cancer down in the prostate
So jerk off and nightly

I said masterbate daily and nightly x3

Alli was painting as I was writting, it was a great combo, plus there was a number of views on a last youtube upload. I skated down to town for an appointment, while playing the banjo, and turned down a road in order to run out some speed. Finding myself in front of the police station, I strolled in and inquired about volunteer possibilities, the gentleman at the desk was quite helpful, but as we were speaking a steroid case cop covered in tats said to a young fellow on the bench, sorry I’ve got to arrest you. No, please, really, I’ve been really good. You gave the wrong address, you’ve got to come with me. It was a probation Issue, I assumed and he was handcuffed, “can I tell my dad at least” “yeah”. I got someones name on a card and a map to get to the community center, which I left there. Leaving, a native guy asked what it would take to take a trip down to the states, they were checking out the possibilities. Leaving I was wondering if I was becoming a conservative, reading Ayn Rand and all. On that subject, I’ve been enjoying Ayn Rand, because she actually decries any religious or traditional whims that might effect man’s moral code, as well as any self sacrifice for a greater good. It came to me that should I embed myself in the beast, it would be to take it apart. Cruised down the sea wall and met Carla Heywood, right on time, we played wicked tunes together in the park, sharing tunes we’d written and even writing one together, we also discussed a book called Total Freedom, it’s about exactly what it sounds, a bit dense though, my work will say similar things, only in plainer language. It was pretty amazing, sitting in that beautiful park, singing, picking, heavenly really. Carla had to go work, I read some of L’etranger by albert camus, wicked good, and took off to find food. On the way I ran into my bike cop friends, two dudes named dave who I became pally with recently. The first chat happened when some tourists eating smiled at me and asked to hear a tune, they were enamored and gifted me with some change. The bike cops said there was busking could only happen at designated spaces, with a license. I made it clear that I was not busking, nor did I ever attempt to make money, money now seems to just come to me. We chatted about my book about zero structure and how it’s illegal to skate board anywhere in the city limits. They were impressed by my alternative lifestyle and with my cordiality, I told them I was disappointed I couldn’t ride away, they said they’d leave first, and I rode away. The second time I was tree dancing, they made jokes about destroying public property, counted leaves that fell, the more serious dave took out his notebook and announced the price of the fine. This morning as I rode by, they and two others were having coffee on the boardwalk, laughs and jokes as usual, some reference to the board. On the subject of volunteering, anyone can dress up with a suit and run from attack dogs, all four of them had done it. After masturbating in the handicapped stall of the port authority center, I rode a few feet to the boardwalk and listened to Danny and a lovely lady sing and play at Trollers, the cool fish and chip shop down below. The more tight ass dave came up with another officer I hadn’t met and proceeded to award me a ticket, I told them I only had one name, Maxim and they wanted more info. We had a calm and composed conversation about my objection to given them any more information, that Maxim is my only name I go by and it was all they needed and that I was willing to accept any repercussion they might offer. They commended me, were impressed by how I stuck to my guns, as they handcuffed me. As small crowed was highly supportive at Trollers as I kept my big smile going as usual, more then willing to get arrested on my own terms. I’d never been arrested and I figured the use of one name, my name, something I’m willing to stand behind. “We’re proud of you!” The girls yelled from below. They kept giving me chances, "we don't need to do this" and finally called in for a ride. It was entirely civil and I think the cops were actually proud of me as well, sticking to my guns. I gave them my uncle who’s a lawyer’s name, even though he’s in ontario. After cuffing me, they started to dig though my bag, which contained my wallet, “I do not consent to this search” “It doesn’t matter, we have the right”. “Well I’ll tell you right now that all my information is in the front pocket and if your going to search me because I don’t have a last name, we can probably avoid some headache, the info is in the front pocket”. “We’d rather do it down at the office”. “Need any help max?” Danny hollered, “I’m groovy baby”. Another cop named dave cruised up in an suv. That dave was an highly pleasant man, he said “ Dave tell’s me your a good guy” “ I like to think so”. Apparently his job was quite boring, mostly dealing with drunks, for the last twenty five years. They didn’t buckle me up at first, which was slightly disconcerting, but acquiesced upon my request. Hands cuffed behind my back was slightly uncomfortable, but in general I was stocked, I was looking forward to the logical conclusion of this adventure. That chat with dave was quite pleasent, and hooked back up with dave at the station. They took my pictures, rifled though all my affairs, checked the serial number on my lap top and asked me questions, some I answered. The funny thing was that I counted five people processing me, counting my money, photocopying my drivers licensee and passport. Content with my government issued information, they eventually grew tired with the little dance and issued me with a pieced of paper. They spoke about how it wasn’t okay to live out side the rules of society while in a society, but as ayn rand says, society is not an entity, and when a minority comes together in the supposed name of that group, it entitles them to act with any whim, I told them that there are no treaties on the land that we stood, the canadian government is an occupying force, the little bits of paper with names and pictures are in the big picture, meaningless. They told me that if someone can’t be identified, they can be held indefinitely, without charge. I told them that was illegal, they disagreed. Leaving, the younger fellow who’s asked about my yeast infection medication and guitar capo, was reading though my journal and hand written book with the keen interest of a little boy, who couldn’t wait to dig deeper into the few possession, that ride on my back, which express my existence over the last few months. He saw an old to do list, “grafic novel, yoga, breakdancing, fix bike, write essay, wow, you’ve got a really interesting life” “Don’t I know it” At the end, Dave decided not to petition the court to issue a summons, which would request my presents at court, over the matter of obstruction of justice, which was the reason I was arrested, and fined me 75$ In the car ride I was a bit nervous, because our system of law is based, purely and simply,, on the basis of vengeance. They told me if they couldn’t figure out who I was, I would sit in jail, for as long as it took, and these were my pals. I found this unreasonable.An argument of this concept would suggest, but if we can’t count on government ID, what can we count on? If not the RCMP, who can we trust? I got physically detained, handcuffed, placed the secured rear of a police truck, for the crime of not having a last name, you can only really trust yourself and anyone else. I trusted Dave, my good buddy, who kept telling me how sociable I was to, do his job like he’s supposed to, but because he’s a cop, but because he’s a straightforward, dependable person, whom you could trust anything with. But mostly trust yourself, know that since you possess a moral code, you do not need to be governed. Point in case, every law get’s broken every day, these are fluid things, it becomes a “crime” when someone who disagrees with it, notices. Every day in parksville I would tresspass and break an enter, into a garbage in order to feed hungry teenages, and everyone was cool with it. There are just as many “illigal” drug users in the world, and “illigal” immigrants ,as their are toasters. Everyone speeds, everyone drank before the age limit. It goes both ways, as in the public enemy song, in the ghetto “911 is useless”. There are certain citizen’s needs being met, and others get shafted. The thing to do is simply take it all in your own hands, as we all do know, realize what you want to do with your live and circumvent any restrictive circumstances. Some laws are simply worth breaking, do what ever’s necessary to further your peaceful, fully righteous existence. However, as mark emery says, we just want to live peaceful lives, and we won’t accept your sick control for much longer. Back at the Trawlers, I joined the band and we ripped it and told my stories, all the young girls at the shop were highly supportive, as was a lovely lady who came up, sang and played with us, we did will the circle be unbroken, a dude in a white cowboy hat, sunglasses and a white mustache, as well as a good crowed chimed in. Another lady told that the by laws had no effect in the port authority, where I got busted. Apparently her nephew fought a skate ticket and won, and theres a collective law suit, buskers against the bylaw, that’s going into court in november, to further establish that bylaws don’t apply to the port authority. So I was well received, and... the lady we sung with happened to be the MC at the Coombs Bluegrass festival, and she invited me to play, it’s at the end of the month. Munched some good chow, met with some young locals and we cruised around, on longboards, in a group. If it’s a bylaw, it should go both ways, unless maybe it’s part of the penal code. Eventually wound up at Travis’ house, there were some week old kittens who’s eyes were barely opened, they gave them flea baths, they showed me how to make hash oil, I wrote, then ate the big beautiful mushroom sitting on the coffee table. Off to a bbq real quick, then to the red room for the end of the open mike, I missed Carla. Strolling, saw Harvey my DJ, haircutting friend, then strolled to the Globe, the strip club. Bruce is the proprietor and he’s into having a great time all the time. The shows were alright, nice physicality and some quite athletic pole usage. A muscley, shorty asian fellow got excited, took his shirt off and tired to rush the stage, the dancer put her boot out and he was wrestled away by the bouncer. Became friends with D, as in DJ Han Solo, Jamaican via toronto for the last thirty years, starting fresh, also cut hair, has the space above the vault. Played for all the younun’s coming out of the bars, my friend Aaron walked up and yelled, “Masturbate Daily and Nightly!” For a moment I’d forgotten I’d posted the video and was baffled, but it came back, he said he like the song, and practiced it. Plenty of real pretty girls walking around, and it eventually it was just me and a fellow in dirty clothes named Ricky D, who liked my playing. Sitting on a bench as the sun came up, chatting with an older dude named gary, we spoke about mountain biking, which he does all the time. Mountain biking came out of california about 25 or 30 years ago, by a group of cyclists who wanted more, now they are the most sold bikes in the world. I think it’s like that will all innovation, people being inspired and creating new things. I slept on the bench for a few hours and then danny came sailing in to refuel, we through out some trash and sailed away towards vancouver. At first it was rough, we took turns on the helm, then it calmed down, we took turns napping on the decks. As we pulled in I went into the bunk and crashed. Up this morning, changed out of my magic pants into the old time/ beatnic uniform of black pants, black jacket, light boots, striped button up shirty, grey cap, canvas belt. Read about the neanderthals and the evolution of human conception of our own past, which continues to be altered dramatically, but especially over the last hundred and fifty years. Rowed to shore, rode the long board while playing the banjo to a coffee shop, checked my email, and started writing again.


  1. Maxim I took pictures on my phone. you are awesome!
    here is my my Space page
    i wrote a little blurb about it.if you need any information including the lawyers letter that states that City bylaws do not apply to federal land, email me at