Monday, July 11, 2011

Hello ladies and gentlemen, yes I've disappeared into the great wild again this summer, but this time something is different. Where every I go, I feel at home, it feel like a series of homecomings, that the universe is trying to tell me something.
Here is a summation of the last month or two. The day after completing a folk/roots album with my friend Morgan Friend in Ottawa, I flew out west to perform at longboard race/festival called Danger Bay. In 2009, after a cross country tour, I happened upon the race, asked if I could play between the sets of a punk band, it went well and went off on more adventures, then flew back the following year in order to play the concert again, I think the blog started petering off. The blog ended because the journey was so intense and incredible it seemed like reporting on it brought me out of the flow. Around that point I started meditating, getting deeper into the spiritual realms, and even stopped contacting my parents (whom I now contact regularly). The stories from last year will come out eventually, probably in some kind of mixed media format to fully represent the epicness. The spirits lead me around BC, then to the Burning Man festival, San Francisco and eventually Santa Cruise California, a place that some call the center of the universe; I experienced it as such.

The journey ended after about seven months on the road, most of which had been done with only the clothes on my back and a jacket rolled into a ball and hung from my belt when it got to hot. At night I'd cardboard or tree branches on the ground, put a garbage bag over my legs and cover my body with the long hooded coat, warm as could be. The lessons were many, the most prevalent being that the abundance is everywhere; food, shelter, love and support are in every corner of this earth, if the universe calls to go out on the road, all will be taken care of. The experiences where so profound, that upon return I was committed to be directed by the universe, to be as open as possible in order to allow greater consciousness to guide me. After a week or two back, my girlfriend proposed marriage and all of the sudden I was engaged, moved my possessions into her apartment and began the simple and calm life of a house husband; looking after a new puppy who'd recently broken her leg. All the while, waiting, knowing that there were great plans for me, somewhere out there and that it was time to be quite and as grounded as possible.

Luckily there were personal problems to keep things interesting as well as the opportunity to perform with my band and create a wonderful record with my friend Morgan. Without the CD my family would have gone on believing that my life had come to halt and that I was content doing nothing (rightfully so, especially since I still haven't explained what really happened last summer).

Then the time came again to fly out west for Danger Bay. My faith in the Great Plan, was such that I came out with only the banjo and my longboard. The first day while riding and playing the banjo (at the same time, obviously) a police officer smiled at me encouragingly, I knew that this summer I wouldn't get in any touble with the law. I wrote a facebook note about that day, here it is. php?id=506782710#!/note.php?note_id=10150188972746517

So things were super smooth, the contest went off without a hitch, learned some new punk songs to play, did my first real downhill run, about two and a half minutes of top speed riding, (for me it was around 70 km/h). Got back to Vancouver, then off to the international indigenous leaders gathering, a calm and fascinating event. There were monks, priets, elders and shamans from around the world, all gathered on native land about 3 hours north of Whistler. What struck as most intersting was the local cheifs interpretation of the comming age, that we've cycled through the ages of the sun, the earth, the water and the wind and are heading into the age of fire. It went along with everything that I've been living this last while, was comforting. There was much love and my favorit part was when I spent "woman's day" cooking with 5 other men. An elder told stories and we made enough food for about 1300 people.

I met a girl named Dee and she invited me to Nelson, a super high energy place where magic was afoot. Then lived on the farm of a religious group call the twelve tribes commonwealth of Israel. Those folk don't use money individual, all live and work together. It was a powerful week, learned how to milk goats. Then went to a solstice gathering where the powerful magic of the year before was retained, if only for a little while. I stayed a week on that land with the owner, an incredible man who welcomes visitors to his peaceful house in the woods. Cut off my beard, snuc into a dance festival where the conversations where the most memorable parts. Headed south west in search of a rainbow gathering and got picked up by a stunt man from Vancouver who was also tapped into a deep spirit vibe, we had much to talk about. I stayed at his fathers ranch for the the night, had some deep conversations, and in the morning headed for the rainbow gathering that turned out not to exist. West was the decision and I got to drive a good portion of the way.

On the way, we were listening to a recording of a south American shaman talking about the importance of a village, community and mostly about that state of full on crying, a feeling similar to bliss. In van magic mushroom found there way to me and the tears started flowing. It was the first time in three years that I had a powerful cry, it felt like a reflection of that day in 2008 when I got fired from a music store for sub par paper work, it was devastating at first, but it had to happen and was the first step of a spiritual journey that's been my higher purpose and has lasted three years. Praying for some feminine energy to open my heart, a sweet man outside of Cafe Deux Soleil held me, sang to me as I sobbed into his arms.It was divine love and it felt like the angles were truly appreciative for all the work Ive done and were listening intently.

It hit me how strong and brave I had to be in order to live such an extreme life of the spirit, traveling with nothing, getting arrested, scavenging, hoping a freight train over the border (because burning man was calling). The words of my new friend Tara came up; as she laid her hands on my heart, she could feel the case created for protection, then case started to break down and it hurt. All the denial of pain for the sake survival and sanity came back up, the fear of separation and isolation that we all feel came to the forfront. Making my way to a hippie house in East Van, looking for comfort, I thought about what exactly I was looking for at that place; visualizing many people holding me in safety, I started howling, wailing, screaming.

When I was a child, my image of god was many people, a group without defining features, translucent, supportive. They came to me at that point, they held me, now colored in with all the individuals and entities that I've come across, and they were all holding me, telling me I was safe, I was home, that I was strong and brave and I've never cried so hard. It was a bookend, after three years of expansion, being brutally torn out of one community, I was finally re-integrating, coming home. At the Trout house a lovely young man gave me tea and food and we chatted into the night, the buzz had long worn off and I slept well for a few hours until the sun came up, then slept in the park across the way for a while. The day was spent contemplating the realizations, homecoming yes, but not regression. The thought of coming home to release the album crossed my mind again, as it had every week since Ive been out here. I prayed for community, for bonds, for people to serve and to be served by. Once again my prayers were heard and thus begins the story that inspired me to sit down and writ this blog in the first place. I'm going to eat some ice cream first, though.

IM tired, the rest of the story is coming. Love you all. M

1 comment:

  1. Max, such a nice, thoughtful blog entry from you. I'm so happy to hear that you have had some time to visit, to think and to learn while on the West Coast. There is no doubt that we have missed you and your voice here and at the recording studio. Morgan and I are looking forward to your return 'home'.
    Much love,