Alright. The natural ebb and flow of existence never ceases to amaze me. I think about the world spinning, the universe expanding and each one of my atom vibrating at various frequencies. I'm in a joyous mood right now and it's because I've been smoking pot.

I woke up late this morning, it was troublesome. Around noon. I had no particular game plan for the day. Only that I had lot's of things to do. My main thought was of the two essays due on Tuesday. I jumped into reading the novel which I'm writing about. Finding it dry and tedious, my brain was a hot bed for various other tangents and plans. A number of issues dominated my head. The first was that I wasn't really finding anything in the book to write about. The second was that I should be writing a list for all the things I needed to do. Then in no real order came the rest of my thoughts. My friend friend Ingrid Gatin asked for some help a few weeks ago booking shows. She's an incredible musicians and I'd love to share the stage with her. I sent out a few emails looking for shows and haven't really followed up. I realized the dates were approaching and that I hadn't really done anything about it. There is still time. Her music can be found at

http://www.myspace.com/ingridgatin


Another thought was to my girlfriend's phone. Three days ago it was stolen or lost and it's been a major stress on her life. It was lost at an my band's concert so I took on the responsibility of contacting those who might have accidentally taken it. There's a 100$ reward by the way. As I said to Chelsea I don't really care about the phone, but I am bothered that she's bothered. Another thought was that I need to contact my band. I threw together seven musicians for the sick sick sicks and the show went well. After they'd all left, I didn't get paid very much. I wanted to tell them they did a great job and I hope to keep jamming. I intent to rent a PA with our pay so we can have real practices. Hopefully at least some of the members are reading this. I also thought of my friend John Aaron, who just left for a tour of eastern Europe, good luck buddy. I also thought about being Wolverine for Halloween, so I need to get some big muscles, fast. I also plan on buying a used mac book from a friend. I think that's all. However, I had about twelve pages to write for Tuesday, so I started reading.

And I'll be honest when it comes to school assignments, I've never tried that hard. In a class situation I'm always one of the best. I answer correctly to more questions then most of my peers and have great relationships with teachers. When I've been enthralled by the professor or the materiel, I also do really well. However left to my own devices, I dick off 'till the last minute, hand in some sub par work, then throw it out since I know I could have done a much better job. It's not the best system, but I've read and learned a lot. And at the end of this year I'll be graduating.

It's been fascinating observing my mother who's just gone back to school. She's doing a masters in library management. She loves school and has dreamed of being a librarian since she was a child. She's organized, works hard and has been getting all As or A+s. I recall being under her tutelage as a child and kicking ass on book reports. Having an authority to guide me through all the seemed to be more effective when pursuing a goal I cared nothing about. At various points she'd inspire me to vigorously devote myself to a project. That enthusiasm generally dried up in about thirty five minutes. Getting good grades has been an uphill battle since I was a kid. I guess I'd just prefer to roll down.

The fact of the matter is that I don't and have never, really cared about proving myself academically. I know I'm smart and that I enjoy learning. That's something no one can take away, no matter how poorly I fail in school.

As with money, school grades are a construction, simultaneously compared with success. Once again, I don't need to prove to anything that I'm successful, so I don't need much money. I have a clear memory in my mind of my mother fearing for my future should I get a degree. She saw a “string of low paying jobs” presumably for the rest of my life. Her premonitions have mostly come true. Except that now I've realized it's more important to engage in what makes you happy then to try to drag yourself up the social ladder. The indoctrination about the importance of a degree has been successful. The proof is in the punch, I'm doing the absolute least I can to squeak out a that prestigious piece of paper. (Just kidding, I take part in most of my classes) University is highly tied to class structure though. When I finish, I'll be a "professional" rather then a laborer. I'll have the magical key to many more opportunities. That's why W. Bush went to Yale and there are so few ethnic minorities in my classes. (Things are getting much better in the latter case).

Long and short, grades are silly, but learning is cool. But being educated is great thing. Even being elitist in various fields can be beneficial to the world's knowledge. But being good at school in general negligible, since it's only about proving you have the capacity to regurgitate and not absorb. More on this in later blogs.

My current serious of regurgitational exercises showcase a book called “the Vicar of Wakefield”. It's about a rich Vicar who goes busts and Vics it up for a poorer community, being social lowered himself. Things get worse and worse throughout the book. He tries to advance his family into higher esteem and fails miserably. (His fortunes picks up a bit at the end, I think, I wasn't really paying attention anymore.

My proff says it's all about ways of thinking. The Vicar is down with pedantry. The learned type who likes to discuss and who's type of smarts is derived from books. The book observes past ways of thinking such as Wisdom, and future ways like science. It's about the enlightenment and growth of reason. I'm going to compare it to Robinson Crusoe, the book about a castaway. I'm not really sure how yet. I made a bunch of notes about God and Crusoe for my first essay. That will probably be my central exploration. No point in doing too much work.

I was reading and most of it was sticking, then all the sudden there's a big party at the jail where the vicar is being held, then nothing makes sense. New characters burst in from no where and chaos ensues. It didn't really made sense, but there was nice poetic justice. The Vicar can't adapt to the new ways of rational thinking, so his life goes down the drain. Someone who's secretly been doing a scientific experiment on the Vicar, saves the day. A decent book.

It made me think of other books that have maintained a popular status over the years, and the ones that I think will be most remembered from our times. They don't have strong characters or plots it's that they artfully capture attitudes and notions of their present situations.

That leads me to the one television show that I watch on a daily basis, the Sopranos. It encapsulates our tendency towards wealth and status, regardless of broader consequences. Pauly overhears that a friend of his elderly mother has cash stashed under her mattress. He breaks in, digs around, she catches him, she starts to call the cops and he ends up suffocating her with a pillow. The genius of the scene is the ever present crucifix that dangles loose during the altercations. Our power structure and culture in general remains faithful to Christianity, yet acts in direct opposition to Christian ideology. I've done minimal research on the subject of wealth in the bible, but it's explicitly clear in a number of situation that Jesus Christ is against it.


I googled “bibles verses wealth” . The first site has twenty or thirty good ones. http://www.christian-wisdom.com/money/0/quote-category.html

I like the imagery in the first one.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.'"
-Matthew 19:23-24

I dig this one because it sounds like when Jesus was inspired by Eastern monks.

"Jesus answered, 'If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'"
-Matthew 19:21


I finished the last forty or so pages of the novel, watched most of my program then all the sudden it was three o'clock. I didn't really feel like working anymore and I've had the notion of working out for some time. I recently got a new student card, so I could go to the gym again. I like the endorphins that get released when working out. Plus wolverine has really big muscles. I have more energy when I smoke grass, plus I like smoking grass, so I smoked some grass. I walked Rufus and my head cleared up. All those competing notions floated away. I noticed the beautiful foliage and thought about the water in my skin as it's exposed to colder air. I played with Rufus more then I usually do and stopped to smell a wild rose. Then I got in some sweats and started jogging towards the gym. I saw my pop on the way and he asked me where I was going. The parents never notice when I'm stoned anymore. I think it's because I don't smoke as much at one siting. In high school, the trend was to smoke huge fatties. I always got too stoned. Now I lay a 8th of a gram in my pipe and I'm still stoned for hours. The jog was lovely, through my fingers get cold fast. I think they lack circulations. I'm comfortable right now in shorts and a t, but my fingers are still cold.

I took the long way to the gym and jogged right in. It was nice not dealing with the change room. Starting off with some yoga, I realized it looked sweetly out of place in the mirror. I ran into my friend Dana and he showed me some exercises. They worked quite well. He's a fascinating character. Always wears bright or flashy clothes. He used to have multiple watches hanging from his waist. Now his facial and arm hair shaved in intricate patterns. He said many people negate their unique traits in order to project a more broad appeal. But when you follow your heart and do it with gusto, you get to know people in a more in depth way.

Another piece of wisdom that he departed with me was the notion of an “open heart”. When most people some people say “ I love you” it means they love only you. Open hearted love from one would be happy with what ever makes the other happy. It's a notion that doesn't really fit into our monogamous culture. But forever isn't real. He talked about being in a room with multiple people he maintains romantic connection with, and it being cool. I told him about my companion Maggie Sue, whom I lived with in the spring of '08. I bought groceries and cleaned the place, she paid the rent and we lived in bliss.

He also showed me pictures of tattoo's he done on people. Ergonomically designed to stretch with the muscle structure, I think he's onto a new trend. I liked the frog who's hips were strategically placed on the side of a leg, so that it jumps when the knee is unfolded. Dana hosts an art jam every Thursday night at his place. I'll get you connected if your interested. Your free to smoke, drink, be merry and be inspired by all the art that's being created.

I got back home and since we smoked up again, was in no mood for homework. Instead I stumbled upon an erotic story I'd started a few months ago. It begins with a ten year old boy spying on his 12 year old sister's slumber party. The girls get into the booze and things get wild. I'm not sure if I'll post that one or not. I have a collection of bizarre stories, maybe I'll publish them someday.

After that, I called my dear friend Alex Vlad and it seems the black mac book is coming my way. He's also getting me into some grand hip hop show tonight. You rock Alex. I smell a review....

So then I started blogging I guess. I think I started around 5 and It's seven thirty now. My parents have come and now there's a bunch of kids playfully yelling outside my house. Chelsea called and she's still freaked out, but getting mellower.

My thoughts wander to the weekend. I'm busy tomorrow afternoon and probably Sunday afternoon. If I'm gonna do this stuff. I guess it'll be tomorrow, Sunday morning and Monday during the day. If not, there's always the drop box.

Ciao!

Ps. It's now twenty past eight. I just edited the piece. This smoking and writing thing is pretty fun. I don't recall working so steadily on a piece of writing. Peace!

Thanks giving Monday. I ran into my friend Nat yesterday, he said he enjoyed my blog, reminding me that I had a blog. Things are progressing. Last night I played at Irean's pub in the Glebe. It posed a moral dilemma, since it meant skipping dinner in Kingston with my extended family. On the other hand, I'm doing my darnedest to pursue a music career. They understood the sacrifice I made and the gig turned out really well. Plus I got to hang out with Rufus for the whole weekend.

I wrote a set list of songs before going on, and a list of conversation topics. I talked about my travels, exploits and opinions on current events. I realized I've written about 20 songs, 12 of which I've memorized. Racking my brain, I realized I've learned some 15 covers on top of that, but have forgotten many. Time to buckle down and practice.

The audience seemed generally enthused. During my break, a fellow at the bar mentioned how "surprised he was at my energy considering there were only seven people in the bar" (more like 12 at that point). Another chap said he could tell that I really loved what I was doing. At one point I asked the audience to stomp out a rhythm, and I busted out some breakdancing. It was the kind of gig I've been fantasizing about for years. It was just me and a guitar but I put on a great show for three hours. The type of show I'm bound to replicate and evolve countless times over.

Sides from that, the Rainbow is going pretty slow. But the Cajun Attic is going well. I'm hosting that open mike every Tuesday night. Its next to Dunn's downtown, on the second level.

The Sick Sick Sicks are playing are playing on October 21st, but I don't have a permanent roster. So if you think your good enough to play in the band, send me a note.

I recorded an EP with my friend Gareth. It's a really good disk. Me playing with an instrument, no over dubs. The official release is November 12th. 9pm. 5$. 19plus. My friends the Rough Sea, Andre Bluteau and Ken Voita will also be performing.

facebook event

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?invites&eid=149381393786

I started hot yoga again, and it rocks! The benefits are immediately tangible and I recommend it to everyone. There's cheap intro rates at most studios. I's worth it.

Chelsea and I are still doing well. I have a feeling we spend time together that should be spent on school work, but meh. You only live once. Plus, her grades are still high.

I've got things to do. Love you all,

-M

An old blog. Here's an old peice that I wrote.

Shucks Rufus. Rufus is on the porch right now. He's keeping a watchful eye over the street below. Yesterday, my little border terrier got in a fight with a neighborhood cat. I heard the menacing sounds and rushed out to the little alcove between the houses. To my surprise the cat wouldn't give up. It had a clear way out, but decided to stay and fight. Rufus didn't quite seem to know what to do with it. He'd corner it, start barking and then the cat would pounce again. In the fury, I could see the that black cat's paws flying and teeth glimmering. Yelling at them didn't seem to quell the intensity, so I marched in and grabbed Rufus by the collar. The cat held it's ground, hissing away as we departed.

Still in a daze from his afternoon nap, my father strolled into the back room wearing his bathrobe. I explained the situation, and that the cat was gone by that point. Rufus sneezed and started to shake, presumably trying to rid himself of the cat's odor. This resulted in blood being splattered all over the room. Papa applied paper towel to the cut on the dog's floppy ear, as I began cleaning the small pools of blood on the floor. The bleeding soon stopped, pop's went back to bed and I started on the walls.

There's something slightly taboo about cleaning blood off vertical surfaces. I knew we'd done nothing wrong, but it seemed imperative that all the evidence disappear. I started to scrub harder. Rufus was obviously shaken by the experience. He starred intently out the window. Upon finishing the cleanup, I noticed some blood had splattered on the bookcase. I guess it would be impossible to track down every little droplet. A certain air of mystery now surrounded those books. Christened with dog blood, part of family history.

Fall Update.

Greetings all.

Please accept my apologies for the last gap in posts. Upon returning to Ottawa, I've discovered that people have been actually reading and enjoying my blog. So as it's not an obtuse exercise in vanity, I shall continue to regale you with the enthralling tales of my life.

It's been under a month since my return, and things have been going swimmingly. Energized from the road, I've been rather focused and the results have been palpable. Firstly, I've been playing tones of music. I've been granted the illustrious Saturday afternoon spot at the Rainbow Bistro. That means from 3 30 to 8 pm you, every Saturday, you can come hear me and my friends play awesome music. My plan is to have a few hours of open mike and perhaps 45 minutes of a featured artist. The rest of the time I'll be spinning the many vinyl records I've amassed over the years. (As soon I get a record player worked out)

This week our featured artist is the bodaciously talented Chelsea O'Connor ( who also happens to be my new girlfriend, but more on that later). Chelsea writes songs about human condition as well being a potty mouthed floozy. We're hoping her mother can come by on Saturday to see what an accomplished performer Chelsea has become.

I've also started making CDs with my music. The disk is a combination of a live songs I performed at Zaphod's last summer and some home recordings I did with my friend John Aaron last winter. It's mostly originals, and three covers. I'm pretty happy with how it came out, so If you want some mellow folk/blues/rockabilly with lots of bizarre scatting, then pickup a copy. Send me a note if you want one or picked one up at the Umi Cafe. 5-8$ for about 10 songs. If you want to trade or barter, that's cool too. The packaging is homemade, so each one is a collectors item.

I'm tentatively joining three established Ottawa bands. It would be playing bass in the Bible All stars, Banjo in the Dusty Drifters and guitar in Instant Release. As I say it's all maybe right now, but it's all looking good.

A more sure thing is that the Sick Sick Sicks will be reviving. Exciting, yeah I know. Expect the long awaited full length album. Also, I'll be recording more solo music soon. It will be radio quality and I plan on pushing it nationally.

Modeling has picked up again. Check out the Halloween edition of the giant tiger catalog. I'm also going to recreate some classic James Dean pictures with an established European fashion photographer. I'll keep you posted.

University has entangled me again, but for the last time! I'm finally graduating this year. It's been a tumultuous undertaking, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Luckily it's only two classes that I need to finish, so it won't be taking up too much time.


So Chelsea O'Connor is similar to me in that she's undertaking many projects, the difference is she takes on about 10 times as much as I do. She's got a fine arts degree from Ryerson, now she's in her second year of broad casting at Algonquin. She's a stand up comic, has recorded a full length record with her band, has her own jewelry company, is a reporter for rogers TV, has two jobs and still has time to hang out with me. The day before our official first date we met at an open mike and the connection was instantaneous. It's been 8 days now with no signs of slowing down. You rock honey bunny.

To continue an old strain of adventure, the Parksville yoga thing proved to be surreal. As you know I showed up and things well at the shop, maybe could have been a bit better. Simon and I talked about leaving in order to play music around the country, the plans were going well. Then on one beautiful day, a new mothers group showed up and we everything was going to be okay. I had moved to Vancouver and Simon was going through the sale of the studio when things got, well, fucked. There was a disagreement with the new owner about rights to Simon's image as well as the video he had made. As well as a disagreement with Simon's girlfriend about opening another studio up in a 100km vicinity. The result was locked doors and fired teachers. The studio has been in my prayers. I'm hoping they can resolve their differences.

I've been keeping up my yoga and it's been great!

I think that's all for now. I should probably get a job. If anyone has a cool job for me, let me know.

And give me feed back.

Also, I'm really good at cooking and playing music. So if you want me to come over to your house or party I can create a fantastic meal for as many people as you want and then I can sing you songs about my life on the road.

And, come to critical mass. http://www.ottawacriticalmass.blogspot.com/

I think that's all for real this time.

More writings soon. In the meantime, check out this interview I did with Buckshot, for MVRemix. http://www.mvremix.com/urban/interviews/buckshot_interview_2009.shtml

Salutation,

We spent Sunday tying up loose ends and packing up the shop. The crew had a good vibe going, we went for drinks then said goodbye to Darrell. The jeep was packed like never before, very cozy. I was reading a definitive legends book about Hip Hop. Lauren Hill's soft, rich voice came to me. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ighu4gGlaUE

The ride to the ferry was exhilarating. A warm breeze flew in the window and the dogs rested their heads on my shoulder. We ate some mild mushrooms along the way and were buzzing as we got in line.  The line up of cars was massive, going on for many blocks, hundreds of cars lay still. I strolled by on the sidewalk and sang tunes from the jungle book. Coming across a steel fence, I began an acrobatic dance. Swinging back and forth, standing on my hands, I was free as a bird as drivers gazed on from their cars. I chatted with a fellow from Ontario, his business was installing hot tubs. Unfortunately his boss abused substances and was unreliable.  

Eventually we were the last few to get into the ferry parking lot. We took the dogs for a walk and all eyes were on us. Kasha is a 5 year old husky/collie mix. Mostly white with brown patches. Chief is an eleven month old boxer/great dane mix. He's brown with black stripes, a huge body, long snout and long legs. Kasha is wise, cunning yet tender.  Chief is cuddly, affectionate and a beautiful specimen. Word travelled quickly that a "one of a kind" dog was around. Chief has lot's of fans. As for the handlers, we were shirtless, both 6", tanned with sculpted yogi bodies. Simon is also covered in Tattoos.

As we sat watching the sun set, I was breakdancing and Simon started doing hand stands. A local film maker asked to shoot us and we put on quite a show. Expect the link soon, it's going to be stellar. At the end of one song, Simon did a backflip from three feet up onto pavement. He had already hurt himself on Canada day and caused himself some semi-serious injuries. I had to carry him on my shoulders back to the jeep, dogs in tow.

 

Were were among the last 5 cars to make it onto the boat. We waved goodbye to the long lines behind us.  I found Simon some ice and went for a wander around the boat. I started reading "Zen in the Martial Arts" by Joe Hyams. This enlightening read talks about a route to inner tranquility through active meditation. Lot's of grand lessons that apply to any lifestyle. What stuck with me the most was to appreciate the marvelous beauty and chaos that exists in everyday life.  

I had a long talk with a cool cat named Julian and his beautiful girlfriend. He gave up playing football professionally to follow a path that enthralled his mind, as well as body. One of his companies helps NFL teams "go green" by making environmentalism cool and attainable. The other company furthers a process that his father patented. They run energy audits and make sure the many separate firms that come together in order to create a building, work together in the most efficient way.  

Julien's girlfriend (sorry I can't recall your name) told me about a friend of hers who went to Nepal and became engulfed into the culture. The friend wrote a book of sayings he picked up from the old lady who lived below him. When the old lady came to the America's and was introduced to an indigenous person, she recognized them immediately as family. We realized that the various parts that made up our own ethnic heritages spanned most of the world. We sang "we are the world" while holding hands. Good times.

 

Julian had a great anecdote explaining the rise of humans. . First there was gas. Then rocks. Then it started to rain. Then the rocks started to walk. I look forward to seeing those cats again. Wonderful new friends. I also met a chap named Tom, from New York. He and his wife had done everything they needed to do in NY and now lived on an acreage outside the city. "Nothing more FTW then growing your own veggies". He was friends with Toby from the NYHC band H20. H20 was the first punk band that I went to see.

Arriving in Van, we realized we had no real plan, hadn't contacted anyone and had nowhere to crash. Our cell phones were dead and neither of us had chargers. Thank goodness for the internet. I carried Simon on my back into an internet cafe and began browsing our online resources. To my utter joy, my old friend Brian Shaw had seen my first blog entry and had sent me a note. Brian and I worked as lifeguards together at camp Opemikon. Six years ago we ran the show and had a wicked summer together. He's been working as a filmmaker in Van for the last few years. He's career has been his central focus, so his social life has taken a bit of a hit. Our coming together was mutually beneficial. His note was manna from heaven on my first night in the big city. 

We drove to Brian's apartment and I carried Simon onto the couch. He went to sleep right away, cuddling the dogs. Brian and I went for a long walk and caught up on old times. The next day we made contact with Christian at the Bickram yoga studio on Commercial drive. I spent the day strolling up and down the avenue. It's a wonderful community, tucked away in east vancouver.  The strip is vibrant, filled with hip people and cool things to see. I was trying on a red Adidas jogging jacket and asked for feedback from a girl in the store. It turned out to be Nienke Rachel Moolenaar. It was the sort of meeting that reaffirms I'm always in the right spot at the right time.  

She grew up living in the Netherlands, Australia, England and Tennessee. Such life experience makes for fascinating perspective and an accent that is constantly shifting. Intonation and expressions that flow from one continent to the next in a single sentence. She'd been living in Montreal, flew and hitched around Canada and was going back to Montreal the next day. We made plans to meet that evening, but ended up meeting by accident twice more that afternoon. We talked about yoga, traveling, spirituality, drugs, dancing and swapped travel stories. Eventually I noted that we could spend a lot of time together and she agreed. She suggested we travel the world together. After an adventure in a chinese restaurant, we headed downtown. We munched on some magic mushrooms and were soon giggling profusely. 

A few blocks out of the sky train, things got pretty weird. An old homeless man was vigorously begging, ignored by the pedestrians. He was bent in the middle, clutching his back, waving an empty hat in the other hand. He was crying out desperately for aide, yet no one even acknowledged him. I asked him how his day was going and he said "pretty bad". Apparently he hadn't eaten of slept since the morning before and was still five bucks short of a shelter bed for the night. Nienke gave him all her spare change and some blueberries she had in her backpack. A sense of calm came over the man as we spoke. Utterly grateful for the gifts he assured Nienka he would never throw away such good food. 

His back was giving him a lot of pain and I offered to try energy healing. He accepted my offer and the three of us visualized energy coming up from the earth and down from the universe. We saw it going through the crown of his head and up through his heals. With long slow breaths, we loved the pain away from his sore back. He appreciated our attention but visit was cut short by another man attempting to intimidate me. 

His cold eyes stared me down, and without any interaction, we knew it was time to leave. The spooky, middle aged man was wearing a leather jacket and jeans. He started to follow us down Granville ave. After one block, he asked where I was from. Upon response he suggest I return there. I readily agreed and we kept walking away. And he kept following us. He made various references to a certain gang and repeated a boss' name.  It was clear the fellow was deranged and eventually I stopped to face him. I whispered my mantra "peacefulness" and stood with a calm face, open chest, arms slightly out. He asked "what's your tattoo say?" I said that I had none. "Well maybe I'll pretend I don't have one either", and walked off. We went the other way. 

We met some b-boys on the street then sat down. My heart was racing for a good while after that little episode. Eventually we went dancing at a blues club then I walked her back to her hostel. 

As I was walking back to East Van, I did some wonderful meditating and ran into some cool guys from Gatineau. They took four days to drive across the country and were off to find climbing walls. Then I walked back to Brians, going over the day in my head. 

Nienke and I were supposed to meet the next day, but it never happend. She didn't pick up her phone and we never ran into each other. I spend the day walking up and down Commercial Dr. It wasn't pouring rain that day, but it wasn't spitting either. I went in every business asking if they'd seen a quirky european girl with a funny haircut. I ran into some Christians offering free prayers.  It was a cool process. One of them said "please God, help Maxim find his friend before she goes back to the Neatherlands. He seems like a good guy and I think he should be rewarded for his loyalty to his friends." The were the types of christians that actually seemed "Christ-ian". Giving of the self for sake of the act. In the end, it didn't work. I sat on a bench, wrote poetry and expanded our moments together into infinity. 

I longboarded back to Brian's house and we had an awesome photoshoot. Some results can be viewed at http://www.modelmayhem.com/658643 .

Wednesday I put the shots on the net and did another photo shoot. This time the roles were revered. The pics were great. I'll link up eventually. We watched old camp videos and pictures. In the evening we took a long walk.

This morning we woke at a decent hour and as the sun came out, we went to wreck beach.  http://www.wreckbeach.org/  . It was was like finally coming home. Pure peace and beauty. Maybe I'll write all about that tomorrow. 

Love you all,

-M

If anyone has any comments, suggests, questions, please lay 'em on me.  

Greetings yall, it's been a wild few days. 

But before I relate the last few days adventures, I'm going to muse in a calm, rational way about drugs. 

For as longs as humanity has attained consciousness, we attempted to alter that consciousness. The ritualistic consumption of mind/body altering substances remains a central tenant  of countless spiritual communities. From peyote to Manichewitz, people have always been testing the limits of intoxication in order to attain various states of mind. However, drugs stopped being disseminated in strictly meaningful ways a long time ago. Drugs like caffeine and alcohol, respectively a stimulant and depressant, seem to drive our society. The pharmaceutical  industry exploded over the last half century as various governments continue to state that "drugs are bad" and to "just say no".  The truth is that drugs, like any other inanimate object, possess no intrinsic value. It's the usage that results in beneficial or detrimental outcomes.  

The role of "shaman" was traditionally passed down through the generation. This was a person with an intimate knowledge of drugs that could advise on matters physical and spiritual. They would gather, cure, prepare, administer the drugs, then interpret the reaction. Adversely, the advice passed down to me on the subject of pot was "just don't do it".  Such words of wisdom from my parents are entirely understandable, yet wholly irrational. Everyone knew that I'd try it eventually but fears of the "gateway drug" caused my folks to express the issue as entirely black and white. The taboo reputation made it entirely more desirable. Instead of experimenting with the drug in a safe environment, I clandestinely tried to smoke as much as possible.  Luckily I've always been wise enough to stop smoking when my brain gets too mushy. For many the habit is difficult to break.

But for others it's important to consume various drugs everyday. For many people drugs help to reduce anxiety, tap into creativity and gain higher levels of consciousness. I've been off pot for weeks, but it gives me a lingering alternative perceptive remains. When I did smoke, I gained an astounding boost of physical energy. I can do many more pushups when I'm high. On the negative side, after a period of daily smoking, the drug fogs my mind. Like all things in life, a middle road is the way to go. A tiny drag would now get me high for hours. 

To conclude, I've decided I will chronicle my drug use. I do this to be honest about the balance of  pleasure, work and spirituality that I've attained. I want you all to know that I'm wise enough to stay safe and I encourage you to do the same. I also hope to break down some of misconceptions and fears about drug use. The lesson is to be inspired to do what you want. Triangulate your gut, your heart and your head and you'll always made the right decision.   

Love you all, 

-M